A great and learned man once said to me;
"The solutions to the problems that life presents us cannot be found in the bottom of a bottle"
I responded;
"Are you sure! have you checked right to the very bottom? Have you checked them all!"
By this point I had unpeeled myself from the velcro carpet that they seemed to apply to the floors of rock venues and was running round like a scared kitten - this intelligence had me worried, the basic framework of my world was unraveling before my panic stricken eyes!
"What about that one? Or that one, I know it's full of green stuff BUT HAVE YOU CHECKED!" I screamed pointing wildly at the bar causing the bar staff to scuttle for cover as if my wildly brandished finger was a 357 magnum.
"No, no your missing the message what I meant was.."
"WHO SENT THAT MESSAGE THEN EH! WHO HATES ME THAT MUCH!"
And I swear, as I mounted the wise mans lapels and propelled him backwards out of the door I heard one of the barstaff mutter
"anyone that's met you I'd imagine" Bloody cheek. I only went out with her for a week.
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